The Stifler System

“If the game is designed for you to lose, don’t play that game. Play a different one.” — Seth Godin

How to meet girls

“You won’t believe what happened last night!”

— Me, fairly often. Every weekend pretty much.

I’m going to introduce you to the Stifler System for meeting girls and becoming a new man!

When trying to figure out how the hell to meet women we don’t even know where to start usually. We usually just go with what we remember from movies or shows. This is what happened to me in high school.

I saw American Pie and my life changed forever! I thought that this was the way to meet girls.  Then it all changed when I watched American Wedding. Then I saw American Reunion.

With all of that said, I have to credit the beginning stages of my game to Steve Stifler from American Pie.

What’s The Stifler Approach for meeting girls and getting laid?

Here is the linchpin of The Stifler System to meeting girls:

Your goal and your only goal for ever going out is to have a good time. You’re not out to “pick up girls” or to analyze your sets. You’re going to get better at meeting girls by not being a methodical robot.

What are the principles of The Stifler System?

I have outlined the principles below for this superhero solution. The whole goal is to create a life for yourself when you’re always surrounded by fun chicks and you yourself are always having a great time.

Oh and I’ve modified the approach so that it’s not 100% based on Stifler since we all saw what happens to the character at the end of every movie. Plus, Stifler wasn’t always the most appealing.

These are our principles/rules/tricks at PUG 101! You must obey them or die trying…

1. You must be happy with yourself.

Don’t take your problems out on the world. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. You need to be confident and happy. You need to be ready to take on the whole world.

Are you happy with yourself?

If you’re not, you need to do something about this before you go out all wasted again. Shame on you if you’re an angry drunk.

Get your ass in the gym, start challenging yourself, and compete. You’ll feel on top of the world when you push yourself. You’ll then become happy with yourself. Nobody will be able to stop you.

Become happy with yourself and see what happens!

2. Your only goal ever is to have a good time.

You’re out to have a good time. You have no stress. You have no issues. You just want to have a laugh or maybe catch up with a friend.

Your goal should be to have fun. Everything you do is all about fun. You should even have fun at work and at the gym. Why be so serious all of the time?

I’ve turned co-workers, gym mates, and random folks into drinking buddies.

This ties into the next point…

3. Never be a creep or make getting laid your number one priority.

A while back I was telling a friend about a great night I had with a cool group of cats. I went out with some buddies, we met some girls, and we laughed away all night cracking jokes.

“You didn’t get laid? What a crappy story.”

That was his response. WTF?

I love to get laid (DUH!), but it isn’t the main focus of every single damn night. I made a mental note to not invite this guy out again. And I eventually did seal the deal from that night.

Some guys judge every single night based on trying to get laid. They rely heavily on the outcome and then get sad when nothing happens. This then brings them down the next day. Screw that!

Stop stressing about getting laid. It will happen.

And one more time…

4. Always laugh with your friends.

Joke around. Have fun.

I may start repeating myself, but I don’t care!

Laughter really is contagious. Don’t be methodical at the bar. That’s so damn lame and everyone can see it.

5. Never ever think about what you’re going to say.

You hungry? So mention this.

Who gives a shit? Say what’s on your mind. Make a general comment. Don’t stress about what you’re going to say.

I once met a girl at a wrestling show by asking her who she thought was going to win the next match. The worst pick up line in the history of the world.

Remember this: it’s not what you say. It’s how you say it.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

6. Be bold. Be wild.

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” — Lao Tzu

You’re bold. You’re wild.

  • You want to kiss a girl mid-convo? Do it!
  • You want to wear a ridiculous shirt? Do it!
  • You want to meet a girl from across the room? Do it!
  • Like Nike says, just do it!

You’re a wild bastard and you don’t care about what happens or how others will react.

7. Don’t be a jerk. Don’t be mean to girls.

I’m naturally sarcastic. I never let girls walk all over me. Someone would call me the prototypical asshole. I get laid based on what my friends call, “asshole game.”


Never ever be mean to girls. Don’t be jerk to people around you. Be fucking normal.

Why is this so difficult to comprehend for guys getting into this game?

“I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.” — Rita Mae Brown

8. Don’t give unsolicited advice.

“You should go approach her more directly now.”

A friend gave me unsolicited advice about a young lady I was chatting with. Huh? I didn’t ask him for it nor did I require his two cents. I eventually became pretty rude because this guy wouldn’t stop sharing his lame-ass feedback with.

Seriously, don’t critique your friends. That is pathetic! 

Not everyone is into the game. That’s cool. Some guys don’t want to consume even one piece of pickup theory and I can’t blame them. Let your friends have fun. Never give advice unless someone asks for it.

9. Use anything as an excuse for going out and meeting girls.

I’ve met girls everywhere from wrestling shows to malls to the gym.

Take advantage of any opportunity out there to meet girls. Don’t think that you should only meet girls at night clubs.

10. Talk to everyone.

Get into the habit of being social. Try talking to everyone. Before a night out, go buy some gum and make conversation with the clerk. Always be social. The more people you meet, the better off you’ll be. Don’t be afraid to flap your gums.

This is the code that I live by. The Stifler System will help you get laid. Trust me. Try out at least thing from here.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” — Steve Jobs

Comments on this entry are closed.